I am not afraid to die. I have wished for it on more than one occasion. The only fear of dying is leaving the ones I love. To leave before I have done what I wanted to do.

There was nothing before I came into this world. I don’t remember being a baby or even really young. It happened, but to me it never existed. Time before my consciousness. And that is reality. My reality. What I know and remember.

All my life has been tainted by this illness. I can not be sure the things I remember actually happened the way I think they did. They say memories change with time, but what memories do you have when your reality was distorted when it was happened. How different are those memories from what occurred?

If we make our own reality, what is the world? What are memories? What is life? What is death?

People are always asking what the point of life is. Looking for the answer to their place in the universe. To me, it is happiness. Do what you can to make yourself happy. Make the ones you love happy. Try to enjoy your life to the fullest and make sure when you leave you did everything you could to be happy.

If reality is what we make it, then happiness can be reality. It can also be hell. It can be distorted by a rush of the imbalanced chemicals in your brain. It can be dark and lonely and full of fear and confusion. But there is a light. There always is. It might not be the light you were looking for, but there is one there if you stare into the darkness long enough.

So, death is not something to be feared. There is nothing after this life, there was nothing before. It is just the end of your run. It IS the end. So, live for today, live to make a brighter tomorrow. Live for the ones you love and live to make yourself happy. That’s all you can do.

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