slow burn

Sometimes the illness creeps up on you slowly. You don’t know it is even entering your headspace. It’s not until you catch a series of thoughts or feelings that you realize something is off. Even with medication, the illness let’s you know it’s still there. Medication can only go so far. The illness is stronger. It is always there and […]

now smile

Society has put people in a situation where it is not accepted to talk about their mental illness. People do not realize, or at least act, that mental illness is simply an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. It is not some way of acting people can control or choose to be. If you had ANY other illness, with the […]


I am not afraid to die. I have wished for it on more than one occasion. The only fear of dying is leaving the ones I love. To leave before I have done what I wanted to do. There was nothing before I came into this world. I don’t remember being a baby or even really young. It happened, but […]

light and shadows

The thoughts of mania are incredible. The quickness and fluidity of mind, the high of energy, the absolute certainty of your ideas. This is very powerful stuff. It is addicting. It is a high. It’s also very dangerous. Art flows from me without end, there are a million ideas and so much energy to see them all to fruition. There […]

how do those people know me

They all know you. They are all looking at you. They are pointing you out. They are talking about you. They are laughing at you. They all want to hurt you. You are afraid to leave the safety of your apartment. They are all out there. People. They have it in for you. They know who you are and hate […]

losing time

Mental illness has taken so much from me. I have lost decades of my life dealing with finding the right treatment for my mental illness. I have lost friends, I have lost jobs, I have lost people I was interested in. I have lost time as a youth. They say youth is wasted on the young. Youth is wasted to […]


There is a sense of uneasiness. No, it is more than that. It is much more than a lack of comfortability. It is a cold shower of emotional tension. You don’t know it’s source. Where did this come from. When exactly did it start. What is the cause. How do I make it stop. You become aggravated that it is […]