There is a sense of uneasiness. No, it is more than that. It is much more than a lack of comfortability. It is a cold shower of emotional tension. You don’t know it’s source.
Where did this come from. When exactly did it start. What is the cause. How do I make it stop.
You become aggravated that it is happening. Then you become more so because you can’t make it stop. Then you exacerbate it because you are letting it get in your head. How do I get rid of this. What actions can I take to make myself feel the way I was moments again. How long will this last.
The thoughts cloud your mind so that there is little room for anything else. Your top priority is feeling better. Everything around you feels so insignificant, so minor in your values. All that matters is getting this shit to go away.
All of us deal with this at some point in our lives. Others deal with it often. Even fewer deal with it as a regular basis. It is their unwanted guest. Their loser friend asking them for money again. It is their overbearing parent telling them they are doing it wrong. To even fewer it is their best friend. One of the few things in life they can count on as a constant.
Some of us are fortunate enough to have medication to deal with this visitor because it is so loud and obnoxious and never wants to leave us alone. Some people are in this place but don’t have the support and resources to get the aid they need. They suffer needlessly because of the imbalance of distribution of health care.
There are those who receive treatment for this unwanted feature of life when it is a minor annoyance because they can afford it. Because somehow, life said to them that they are worth it to live without this. They are more important than those that really suffer because those people can’t get their shit together.
People always talk about rich and poor in terms of money and wealth. What is in their bank account, what car they drive – if they even own a vehicle, how big is their tv, what version iPhone they use to check their instagram accounts with all their happy photos of perfect moments they need to share with the world to show them just how perfect their life is.
Meanwhile there is a major percentage of the population that is left on the sidelines. Unable to participate and contribute to society because their brain works different. Maybe they are the weird guy in your office, your cooky neighbor, the annoying lady on the bus talking about some weird shit. They are the homeless person on the side of the street talking to themselves.
A business man goes out after work for drinks and an expensive meal. He comes home and feels a bit annoyed. He reaches into his cabinet and pops a pill and peace falls over him like a warm blanket.
A woman walks back to her place in the alley. She worked all day trying to scrape together change and favors to eat one more day. No end to this cycle is in sight. Oooop, here comes the dread she has been fighting off all day. It has taken root now. How cold will it be tonight. Will I be safe. Will I get any rest. Where is my magic pill to make me feel warm and fuzzy.